the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
