conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
