Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
