We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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