fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
