Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
