who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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