woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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