why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
