so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize