DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
