what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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