WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
