i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
