I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
