..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
