So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
