and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
