Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I would fuck him just for his dog
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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