I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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