Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
