well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
