I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Randomize
