you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
