So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
