I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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