Whod you bang
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize