there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
