Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
