He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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