Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
