thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
