Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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