okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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