apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
