i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize