I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize