We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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