Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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