I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
