yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize