Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Ladies don't puke and tell
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
