Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
