I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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