it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
