Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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