So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
