well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
