Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
