Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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