Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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