how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just pee around me
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
