i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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