I think im going to throw up on grandma
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
