Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
