she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize