I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
