I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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