On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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