It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
