haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
