On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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