Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
