I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize