just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
