Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
