I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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