i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
