Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
my poor anus
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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