He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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