now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
