I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
