Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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