hotel room ftw
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
