He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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