K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
