so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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