so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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