pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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